Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Men

*Advisory-This post will most likely contain TOO MUCH INFORMATION.*

I've always heard that life is not fair, but really why is that?

Man Surgery.
The topic of this discussion has been present in our house for 2 years now. I didn't want to force the issue, but at the same time wasn't it time for him to step up to the plate and do something to alter his body?

Seeing that I have altered my body THREE times. Gained weight, couldn't eat certain foods, couldn't drink certain drinks, gestational diabetes, clothes didn't fit, shoes didn't fit, sleepless nights, change my sleeping position, going to the bathroom four times a night, pain, headaches, ear infections, nausea, tired, exhausted, dr appts, specimen cups, shots, blood draws, stretch marks, and never again being the same I was before. Also, throw in the exposure to drs, nurses, and any other person in the room, having to wear a terribly ugly gown, sitting on a pillow for weeks, tending to your own bodily issues along with tending to the new little person's as well, and just the feeling of pressure that because your a woman you should KNOW what to do and be able to do EVERYTHING.

So here it was, he finally made the consultation appt. Painless but embarrassing. Finally made the real appt-which they only do on Fridays so they have the weekend to recover. Chauffer him to his 30 minute appt. Yeah, it's over in 30 minutes. Again embarrassing and a little painful. (Chad has a high tolerance for pain.) Pick him up from his appt only to receive the prescription from the doctor "to peel grapes and feed them to him, along with as much drink of his choice." (Obviously a joke - we know the dr. very well.) Still beyond that, I had his patient room waiting for him. Magazines, books, dvds, computer, water, medicine, ice packs, etc. He was "allowed" to lay in bed for 3 days straight, our bedroom, door closed, oblivious to anything that was going on in the household and just laying there and relaxing. He was brought his lunch and dinner. He was able to avoid all husband, father, and household duties. For three days!!! And to top that off, he wasn't allowed to shower for 2 days and he can't lift anything over 10lbs. for two weeks. Really, let me tell you that rules out a lot of duties. Can't take out the trash, can't lift boxes at work, can't lift the girls, can't work out, can't play tennis, can't mow the yard, can't move or walk fast. Geez, that equates out to sit, watch tv, go on the computer, and relax. Again, all in the name of not being able to produce children any longer.

Follow Up.
So another appt, a week later. Then the embarrassing specimen cups for the next two months. And I'm sure you know that every man thinks this will be great for him. And at this point do you think I feel sorry for him, feel any sympathy for him, feel any compassion for him...the answer clearly is NO!!!!!!!!!!!

Why is life not fair I ask? Could it be because women are just stronger by nature and we can handle anything thrown at us? Could it be that women do and take care of everything and everyone? Could it be that due to expectations and outcomes we've learned that we get the short end of the stick?

Please someone, sign me up for 3 days of relaxing, uninterrupted, maid & chef service where I can do what I want and when I want and for how long I want. ;o)

Sorry for the crazy, TMI, post! Thanks for listening.

**Side notes-I love my kids more than anything and would of course not have changed having them.
**For Chad-Thank you for doing this for our family. Glad my nursing days are over. LOL.
**For Kris-enjoy the pregnancy ride & Congrats!! Disregard all the bad stuff I said. LOL.

4 comments:

Crystal said...

While your signing yourself up for 3 days of no work, relaxing fun, will you sign me up too? I could really use it right now. ;)

Chris said...

Yes indeed. A much needed girls trip is in the works. Sometimes I wonder why I'm so tired and then I remember everything I did that day.

Kristen said...

LOL...I was thinking...oh I forgot about all of that. NOt the tired, nausea and for me horrible headaches! Thanks for a great chuckle. I thought your post was very creative!

Anonymous said...

After Doug laid on the couch for 3 days, I told him unless he wanted another surgery, he needed to buck up and get off the couch. Why are men such babies?